Attachment Styles and PARTS Test
Introduction
Our relationships and the way we connect with others are affected by various "parts" of ourselves. In Internal Family Systems (IFS), the concept of parts refers to the idea that our personality consists of different sub-personalities. These parts can take on roles such as the inner critic or the inner child, and may manifest traits of avoidant, anxious, disorganized or secure attachment styles, depending on the context, triggers, and relational dynamics.
Through the lens of IFS, attachment styles are not static or fixed. Instead, different parts of us can exhibit different attachment behaviours, meaning that a person might display elements of multiple attachment styles at once, depending on the situation or relationship. For example, you might feel securely attached with your family but experience insecurity with a romantic partner. Instead of labelling someone as strictly "avoidant" or "anxious," it’s more accurate to say they have a mixture of avoidant, anxious and disorganized parts that crave and fear connection due to past trauma. This approach offers a more compassionate, effective framework for understanding and healing attachment patterns, emphasizing that no one is locked into a single style—our parts can evolve and heal over time. Alongside these parts, IFS introduces the concept of the "Self"—a calm, compassionate presence that has the capacity to heal, connect, and foster emotional growth. The Self acts as an internal attachment figure, guiding the system toward inner secure attachment, which in turn supports secure relationships in the external world.
Each attachment style can be associated with specific protective or exile-driven tendencies:
Anxious Parts:
Fear of abandonment.
Hypervigilance about relationship status.
Over-functioning to maintain connection.
Avoidant Parts:
Emotional suppression.
Reluctance to depend on others.
Discomfort with vulnerability.
Disorganized Parts:
Conflicting desires for closeness and fear of it.
Erratic or unpredictable relational behaviours.
Polarized reactions to intimacy and connection.
Secure Parts:
Comfort with intimacy and autonomy.
Ability to repair conflicts.
Trust in others and self-resilience.
Here’s how each attachment style might manifest through the dynamics of parts and the Self:
Secure Attachment
IFS Lens:
Secure attachment aligns with a balanced internal system where parts trust the leadership of the Self.
Parts feel safe, cared for, and in harmony, allowing for secure relationships externally.
If a part gets triggered, the Self can quickly step in with curiosity and compassion to manage the situation.
Characteristics:
The person likely has a well-integrated inner system of parts, all guided by the Self.
Self-energy is present and guides the person to respond to relational challenges with openness and confidence.
Avoidant Attachment
IFS Lens:
Avoidant attachment could stem from overactive protector parts that minimize emotional vulnerability.
These parts fear that reliance on others will lead to rejection, and they suppress or exile parts carrying feelings of neediness, fear, or sadness.
Characteristics:
The avoidant person may have a dominant managerial system focused on self-sufficiency, leading to emotional detachment in relationships.
Exiles holding wounds of rejection or abandonment are likely heavily suppressed, creating a barrier to emotional intimacy.
IFS Healing:
Work with protective parts to understand their fear of dependency and gradually reconnect with exiles to heal the underlying attachment wounds.
Anxious Attachment
IFS Lens:
Anxious attachment may result from hyperactive protector parts that try to prevent abandonment by controlling or over-monitoring relationships.
These protectors are often in overdrive to avoid the pain of exiles carrying abandonment or rejection wounds.
Characteristics:
The individual might struggle with a constant battle between protector parts that crave closeness and exiles who feel deeply unworthy or afraid of being left.
This creates a cycle of clinginess, fear, and reactivity in relationships.
IFS Healing:
Help the protective parts trust the Self to lead and gradually work with the exiles to unburden feelings of worthlessness or fear of abandonment.
Disorganized Attachment
IFS Lens:
Disorganized attachment reflects significant internal conflict and chaos, where protectors and exiles are caught in a cycle of fear, often rooted in early developmental (preverbal) trauma.
Parts might send contradictory signals—one part craves closeness while another pushes people away out of fear or distrust.
Characteristics:
The internal system lacks cohesion, and parts may carry extreme roles becoming locked in marked polarizations (e.g., one protector avoids intimacy while another seeks it desperately).
The Self may feel distant or inaccessible due to overwhelming burdens carried by exiles and extreme protectors.
IFS Healing:
Build trust with protectors first, then gradually work to unburden the exiles carrying trauma.
Re-establish the Self as a compassionate leader to bring coherence and safety to the internal system.
Over the past few years, after observing the attachment styles of many systems and witnessing hundreds of individuals with attachment injuries, I developed the PARTS Test (Parts and Relational Tendencies Scoring Test). This tool is designed for those who engage with the IFS therapeutic model to help identify and track the various parts of themselves. This test is designed to help you explore how different parts of you influence your attachment tendencies and how these may shift in different relational contexts. It also tracks how your therapy or personal growth affects each part’s attachment style, offering valuable insights into your progress. When taking the test, you may wish to focus on a specific part that becomes activated, as well as the situations or circumstances that might trigger it.
The test uses a continuous scoring system, similar to established attachment assessments like the Experience in Close Relationships Scale (ERC-S). This provides a more nuanced classification of attachment styles along a spectrum rather than using binary labels. It measures attachment anxiety, avoidance, disorganization, and security on a scale, offering a detailed understanding of your attachment behaviours. The scores for each style are normalized to percentages, ensuring the total always adds up to 100%.
How to Use This Test
Time Commitment: The test will take approximately 15 minutes to complete, and it’s important to answer all questions.
Reflection: Find a quiet space where you can reflect on your relationships and answer each question honestly, considering how different parts of you show up in various relational scenarios.
Test Process: You can test your general Internal Family System score and then dive deeper into testing each part individually. Each part may have a different attachment style, and you can invite these parts to participate in the test, if they’re open to it.
Situation-Specific Testing: Remember, parts of you may react differently in specific situations. For example, your anxious part may be triggered in romantic relationships but not with family. When answering, focus on the specific part of you that is being activated in the context you're exploring.
This test isn't about labelling yourself with a single attachment style. Instead, it's an opportunity to recognize that different parts of you may express different attachment behaviours depending on the relationship and circumstances. By becoming aware of these patterns, you can work towards creating more secure and fulfilling connections.